One More Time

[Dan Wilson]

Hi All,

Here is a song I’ve just finished using SD3. This time I used the internal mixer and plugins as a submixer into two channels in Logic X. I am using the Yamaha kit with the Pearl 6×14 Masters Custom.

https://soundcloud.com/dan-e-wilson/one-more-time

As always any suggestions on improvement would be most appreciated.
Dan

Logic X, SD3, SD2, iMac

Topic

[Juicy]

All constructive .
Perhaps only use the extra vocal track when its an actual harmony but not when its sort of just roughly doubling the main vocal. and let the first verse establish b4 you bring it it. I would use “gotta tell you..I love you, one more time only for first entry and drop the first words of those like written here.
Some of those entry/passing words of your vocal lines are really huge but they are not the important words in your lyric, if that makes sense, you could easily fix that too if you want with automation or some editing.
The vocal is a little loud and dry compared to the band

[Dan Wilson]

Hi Matthew,

Thank you for the advice, especially about the entry/passing words and the level of the vocals relative to the music. I will look closer at this and arrangement suggestions on the next song.

Your constructive criticisms was what I was hoping for.

Cheers

Dan

Logic X, SD3, SD2, iMac

[rallyboy101]

Really good, and i really like it.

(Reminded me of Shane MacGowan! lol)

Constructive criticism…..

Main Vocal, seems a tad too dry and too upfront….. and are you using a compressor at all? (the very end vox seems a smidgen loud i think too)

Try a bit of plate reverb with a bit of pre delay to sit it back a smidgen.

(i’d also try doubling/copying the “main” vocal track and putting two different reverb times on them and see if you like it or not.)

I’d sit your 2nd vocal back in the mix with a longer pre delay on the reverb, and darken the reverb, or use a hall, so it sounds darker.

On your output bus put a stereo enhancer on, it sounds too stereo as is, the SE will melt it all together.

Then get it mastered by a pro.

Love the sound of the keys.

Where’s the bass? sounds a bit low? programmed or played?

Really good song and playing… listened to it about 4 or 5 times.

Keep it up.

[Dan Wilson]

Hi Rallyboy101,

First of all, thank you for the constructive criticism, I really appreciate it. After reading it, I played around with the mix a bit more. Hopefully it moved in the right direction.
The bass is a DI p-bass played by my brother. The chain is DI into MOTU 828x into logic x. Plugins include the waves Puigtech Eqs and IK Black76 and White 2A with a bit of parallel compression.

Any further constructive criticism will be most appreciated.

Cheers
Dan

Logic X, SD3, SD2, iMac

[rallyboy101]

Hey Dan.

I’m just listening to it on the decent cans, and yeah i think it’s got better, i can hear the bass and warmth now.

Constructive critisim ( and only my opinion)

I still think you need the (non acoustic) guitars are sitting too panned and need routed to a group track and a stereo enhancer put on them, for me they are just a tad too wide.

Also think the acoustic should be brought into the middle a bit.

Also now that it’s coming together a bit more (IMO), I think you should get the vocals and backing vocals better (sorry) To me they sound sonically good, and the flavour is also great, i just think they could be better. I’d maybe even ask your bro to try do the back vox to add a bit more colour.

Think big! the song is really good and I can see the song appealing to a lot of people.

p.s. I hope you aren’t expecting too much from me when you hear any of mine! lol, i’m a good critic!

Keep at it.

[Dan Wilson]

Hi Rallyboy,

Thanks again for your comments I really appreciate it. I remixed the song again and tried bringing in the guitars in a bit and moved the organ part off centre to open room up for the vocals. Funny thing is my brother did do the backup vocals. I guess being brothers we sound a little too much alike.

I have heard your songs and I really enjoyed the tunes. Can’t wait to hear the finished version of “Somewhere Far Away”

Dan

Logic X, SD3, SD2, iMac

[rallyboy101]

Hi Dan, my songs are never “finished”! lol

Just listening just now, and yeah the key’s are sitting nicer i think, sideways and they sound back a touch too.

i think i’d maybe bring a tambo in on the choruses,

in at 0.49’s
out at 1.01

in at 1.36
out at 1.47 or keep it running through solo / until last verse?

You should clean up the first half second of the recording too, so that it comes in nice and sharp/clean.

Honestly, i really like this song and i think you should get it mastered by a pro when it’s done, it will sound great.

Here’s a song that i think will give you the flavour of what the the mastered version would be like…… listen to the sparkle from the top end and stuff cut out the snare to make it snap a bit. I should be taking my own advice too but there’s no point at the moment really.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNKfLINJJ-U

or send me the file and i’ll have a go at it for you.

[Dan Wilson]

Hi Rallyboy101,

Thanks for all of your advice. Maybe in the future I will get the song mastered by a professional. It getting to the point of wanting to replace things in the song to make if “better” like the rhythm guitar I played on the left side. I am a drummer not a guitar player, it is really just me having a little fun in my studio.

For now I am going to step away from this song and take the stuff I learned and apply it to another song.

Really enjoyed listening to Shane MacGowan’s Lonesome Highway.

Dan

Logic X, SD3, SD2, iMac

[Author]

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